Denying Yourself - Silvia Violet 4 Hearts

Review written for MM Good Book Reviews

Shane has crushed on his best friend Matt since the day they met, over the last few months it has been harder and harder to cope with holding back and he turns to drink to ease the feelings, but then something shocking happens and Shane drinks even more to suppress the wolf. Matt denies the part of himself that would make him different, running away with Shane so he can build a life for himself away from the farm seems to be the answer but the strain is telling on both of them and they start to grow apart. One morning they both give into their urges and it is too much for Shane’s wolf, Shane flees in horror and falls into despair with alcohol for company. Time is what both young men need to accept their own natures, but can Matt and Shane reconnect at the right time for them?

This is a great story with a completely different approach to shifters. Shane and Matt are best friends, Shane has crushed on Matt since they met but Matt is straight. Shane has struggled with his attraction and began to drink to drown out his urges, but discovering the secret his adoptive parents kept from him scares him and he decides the time has come for him to leave and he hopes Matt will go with him. Matt struggles with his attraction to Shane and completely denies his sexuality, when Shane becomes more erratic and unpredictable Matt doesn’t know what to do and his frustration leads to explosive sex with Shane, but Shane flees and Matt is left alone not knowing if Shane is dead or alive.

I really liked how this story was portrayed with two young men both struggling with their identities, Matt with being gay and Shane with being a wolf. The shifter aspect of the story was pretty bleak, many young shifters growing up with no knowledge of what they are or how to cope with the shifter nature, falling into addictions as a way of coping until they either hit rock bottom or are rescued by an older shifter who can get them help. We get bombarded with Shane’s troubles as we progress through the story, with the difficulties he faces but he’s always holding onto the hope of getting Matt’s forgiveness.

The story is all from Shane’s perspective, so we miss out on a chunk of what Matt is going through, we follow Shane as he becomes lost in a bottom of a bottle, as he claws his way out with help and the struggle to stay sober as he builds his life back up. There is some great sex in this story both between Matt and Shane and, as Shane gets integrated into the pack, with Carl (the pack alpha). There is no cheating, but there is voyeurism and group sex between shifters. Both Matt and Shane are great characters who go through their own acceptance of themselves, denying themselves was hurting them both and finding themselves brings them both love and joy.

I will recommend this to those that love shifter troubles, recovering from addiction, forgiveness, accepting your own true nature whatever it may be and accepting love to find your happy ending.